8 practical ways men can help end violence against women

Let’s be honest – talking about violence against women can feel uncomfortable. But if you’re reading this, you’ve already taken an important first step: caring enough to learn. Because violence against women isn’t just about a handful of bad men – it’s a societal issue that requires good men to step up. It’s everyone’s problem, and men have a powerful role to play in changing it.

This article isn’t about pointing fingers or laying blame – it’s about what we can all do for progress. Whether it’s calling out casual sexism, being a role model for younger men, or simply learning more about the issue, every action matters. By showing up as allies and advocates, men have the power to help make the world safer and more respectful for everyone.

So, where do you start? We’ve put together eight practical ways to help end violence against women in your everyday life.

1. Educate yourself about gendered violence

The first step to being part of the solution is understanding the problem. Gendered violence isn’t just about physical harm – it’s about power and control. It’s the quiet behaviours like coercive control, financial manipulation and digital abuse that often go unnoticed but can escalate into devastating harm.

In Australia, the statistics speak volumes: 1 in 6 women have experienced physical or sexual violence by a current or former partner, while for men it is 1 in 16. Overall, 75 per cent of all violence, against both men and women, is perpetrated by men. And on average, one woman every nine days is killed by a current or former partner. These numbers reveal a larger cultural issue that we can’t ignore.

From here, start conversations with your mates, your coworkers or family about respect, consent and healthy relationships. When you share what you’ve learned, you’re breaking the silence, challenging harmful stereotypes and creating ripple effects that inspire others to think differently.

A good place to start: Read up on topics like coercive control or unhealthy masculinity, or listen to podcasts like There’s No Place Like Home by Tarang Chawla.

2. Challenge harmful attitudes and behaviours

How many times have you let a “harmless” joke slide? Sexist comments or casual misogyny may seem insignificant, but they create a culture where disrespect towards women feels normal.

If a friend cracks a sexist joke, don’t laugh it off. Instead, try approaching it with curiosity, responding with something like:

“What’s your line of thinking when you talk about that?”

“What motivates you to say such a thing?”

“That’s interesting, I thought you respected women. Has that changed?”

Dave Kramer, a facilitator for men’s groups and Small Steps 4 Hannah ambassador, says by asking thoughtful questions you are opening the door to a meaningful conversation, rather than shooting it down. “You’re not attacking; you’re holding your mates accountable in a way that encourages reflection rather than defensiveness.”

And this brings us to a common reaction: the phrase “not all men.” If your first response to someone condemning misogyny is to say, “Not all men,” it’s worth reflecting on why that is. It often shows more concern for defending men’s reputation than for truly hearing women’s experiences. The best way to prove it’s “not all men” is by standing against misogyny, not by making excuses for it.

Watch: At The Lady Musgrave Trust’s 2023 Annual Forum, the session ‘Men Making Change: The role men play in building a safe home’’ emphasised how men’s attitudes are the biggest drivers of behavior change. Watch the session now.

3. Be an active bystander

When you witness inappropriate or abusive behavior, silence can signal acceptance. Taking action – even small, insignificant steps – can make a big difference in showing that harmful behaviour isn’t okay.

• Check in with the person affected. If you see someone being harassed, approach them and if they are okay.
• If you hear disrespectful comments, challenge them (kindly but firmly).
• In public situations, you don’t always have to confront the abuser directly. Disrupt the situation by starting a conversation with the person being targeted or creating a diversion, like asking for directions or help with something.
• Get help if you feel unsafe stepping in. Not every situation will feel safe to intervene directly, so seek help from someone – a staff member, security guard, or even the authorities, depending on the situation.

Your actions don’t have to be perfect – they just have to show that abuse and violence are unacceptable.

4. Model respectful relationships

Actions speak louder than words, and how you treat others in your daily life sets the standard. Show what respect looks like in your everyday interactions – whether it’s treating your partner as an equal, communicating openly or supporting the women in your life without judgement.

For young boys and men, observing how adults navigate relationships can serve as a template for their own behaviour. When they see you approach your relationships with kindness, empathy and equality, it shows them what healthy connections look like.

At Small Steps 4 Hannah, Dave runs the H.A.L.T. program, a respectful relationships program designed for high schools. He says while young people are often sharp at spotting the red flags, they may not know what it looks like to be in a safe relationship.

“They rarely have the chance to explore what safety looks and feels like,” he says. “So, our main focus is on defining the characteristics of a safe relationship and how to actively foster it.

When you live these values, you’re helping to create a culture where respect becomes the norm, not the exception.

5. Listen to women

When a woman in your life trusts you enough to share her story of abuse, your response matters more than you might realise. Listening with compassion and without judgement can make a world of difference.

Survivors of abuse often face stigma and feelings of isolation, which can make reaching out for help an incredibly vulnerable act. The most powerful thing you can do is simply be present. Resist the urge to interrupt, problem-solve or offer advice unless she specifically asks for it. Instead of trying to “fix” the situation, you could say things like:

• “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
• “You don’t deserve this.”
• “Thank you for trusting me with this.”

Your support doesn’t have to be perfect or profound. Sometimes, it’s the small things that matter most, like offering to help with attending appointments, or encouraging her to connect with professional support services when she feels ready. Even after the initial conversation, check in with her to remind her she has someone in her corner. Your support could be the lifeline they need to begin healing.

6. Mentor the next generation

Boys don’t grow up in a vacuum – they absorb lessons from the world around them, especially the adults in their lives. Whether it’s your son, nephew, younger brother or a mentee, the way you show up in their lives can leave a lasting impact.

Whether it’s a car ride, a shared meal or a quiet talk at home, ask questions that encourages them to reflect, such as:

• “What does being a good friend or partner mean to you?”
• “How do you think we should treat people when they’re upset or struggling?”

These conversations help them develop emotional intelligence and challenge stereotypes about masculinity that often equate strength with dominance or aggression.

7. Push for systemic change

Ending violence against women requires more than personal actions – it demands broader, systematic change. While individual efforts make a difference, true progress comes when policies, laws and resources address the root causes of gendered violence and provide meaningful support for survivors.

This could mean voting for leaders who prioritise these issues, supporting organisations fighting for equality or using your platform (however big or small) to amplify these messages.

Start here: Share resources, stories and campaigns that highlight the importance of ending violence against women; write to your local representatives about the need for increased funding for domestic violence shelters; attend rallies or community events that advocate for women’s safety; have conversations about these issues with your networks to build collective awareness.

8. Give back to the cause

Organisations working to end violence against women rely on community support to keep going. Whether it’s a financial donation, volunteering your time or participating in awareness campaigns, your involvement can make a difference.

Every dollar counts when it comes to providing shelter, counselling and resources for women and children escaping violence. Your financial contribution can help fund emergency housing, crisis hotlines, legal aid and education programs that give survivors the opportunity to rebuild their lives.

But not all contributions have to be financial. Volunteering your time – whether it’s helping out at an event, participating in a charity auction, or offering professional skills, like legal advice or marketing expertise – can make a big difference as many organisations rely on volunteers to extend their reach.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have all the answers. But by taking action – no matter how small – you can send a powerful message that violence against women is not acceptable, and men have a role in stopping it.

If you found this article valuable, please consider sharing it with your network. If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out to one of the following services:

• DV Connect (1800 811 811): Offering crisis support and counselling for those affected by domestic violence.
• 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732): A national helpline providing confidential support for friends, family, and survivors of domestic violence.
• Relationships Australia QLD (1300 364 277): Providing relationship advice and support to individuals and families across Queensland.
• Mensline (1800 041 612): A support service specifically for men, offering assistance, information, and referrals for those in need.